Friday, July 15, 2011

Najib- The Inconvenient Guest

Just imagine you are throwing a party. A daughter is getting married. You have invited everyone. Relatives and friends. You have gone to the village or kampung that you were born in and raised, maybe 40 years ago, and invited neighbours and friends who you played with as a little kid. Your guest of honour is your boss. A famous Datuk Seri. You have even printed his name on the invitation card as the patron of the wedding and you know that his presence and gracing of your child's wedding will be the talk of the town and you will be roundly congratulated for having him grace the wedding you are hosting.


Then two days before the wedding, the newspapers and television news scream with pictures of your boss's wife, all bloodied with face all puffed up from the beating and punches she got. She accuses her husband, your boss, for having done the honours. Police reports have been made and he has been picked up for questioning and subsequently released. The report also suggests that the fight took place over the objections of the wife of him wanting to take on a second very much younger wife.

A day before the wedding, you are reading this. Your whole family is at the breakfast table. Your daughter, who is to be married, is crying. She was so looking forward for the Datuk Seri gracing her wedding. But here now she sees a monster that every last cell in her body detests. Your wife is sitting silent. She understands the dilemma you are in.

He is your boss and you still need the job. You would prefer that you had not profiled him so highly for the wedding, but you have. Its going to be so uncomfortable. You cannot be bringing up the subject matter with him at the wedding, you don't feel you have the right of place. After all you are just a minion in his organisation and not his golfing partner.

But you have the common sense. You know what needs to be done. You are prepared to accept that he may just not come. Or he may call you to excuse him from the wedding and you would be only too pleased if he did that. So you wait. Hoping that you will receive the call. You have a hundred things to do. But you never had a mobile phone and so if a call has to come it has to be at your home. So you wait. You assign errands to your wife, sons and daughter. You call your friends and relatives and assign them jobs to do as well. The call does not come. Past noon, you are getting desperate. You have a flash. You call your immediate boss. Tell him, and ask him in the most diplomatic way if the Datuk Seri would still be coming the next day for the wedding. The boss does not know. And he declines bringing up the subject with the Datuk Seri. You plead, and he says it is none of his business.

The Datuk Seri is also not in the office. You have his mobile number. You stare at the number. Pick up the phone and key in the first 3 numbers. Stop. You put down the phone. You do that a couple of more times. Then finally you make the call.

"Hello, Datuk Seri, good afternoon tuan. This is Thangavellu"

"Hello" Thanga! How is everything going? Your daughter's wedding preparations all going alright? Hey, I am looking forward to the mutton curry from your caterer. He makes the best mutton curry you know. That is why I recommended him to you. Hey, you don't mind if I throw in some political message in my speech eh? I have already prepared a good speech. And oh, by the way, my wife won't be coming la, so you make the necessary arrangements at the main table la. "

"O.k tuan. O.k."

"So, why did you call me? " "Is there anything?"

"Err, just checking to confirm the time of your arrival tuan! Its 7.30 sharp you said"

"Yes. that is right"

"O.k. tuan. Thank You, tuan. Bye. See you tomorrow tuan."

"O.k. See you tomorrow."

You're stuffed. Your daughter has just told you bloggers and social network via Face Book and Twitter are all extremely critical of the Datuk Seri and it is all rather embarrassing because he is the butt of everyone's joke. She would rather not have him at the wedding.

You too would rather not have him attend your daughter's wedding. But he is. You have to play the perfect but hypocritical host. So you start the process of conditioning yourself to play just that. And you plan to ensure no uncomfortable statements are made by anyone, knowing some of your boisterous friends and relatives as well as some old aunties who can be inconveniently vocal.

The day comes. You've already had so many calls from friends and relatives to see if the Datuk Seri is coming. Some have even made such sarcastic remarks that you almost told them not to come. Your wife too is not exactly being very kind in her remarks, promising to snub the Datuk Seri.

The moment comes. Its 7.30pm. You are at the driveway. The chauffeur driven Mercedes arrives. Stops in front of you. You open the door. The Datuk Seri steps out in his most elegant suit!! Your wife, in her yellow sari, looks on frowningly but with a sinister smile on her face, like as if she has made a point!!

Well, just consider this. That is Najib, our Prime Minister, playing guest at our friends and allies, expecting to be hosted in the fashion that heads of states are accustomed to be hosted. Wouldn't it be better for him to not have made this visit at this most inappropriate of times for him? Like your wife, the Queen wears yellow!! And you wonder why?

Trust women to know how to snub in the most quintessential of ways! But then you got to also have the brains to know what's happening!! Now I wonder if the Pope is also going to be wearing something yellow!